Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
