i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
