If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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