I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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