so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
