i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
