I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
