Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
