Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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