we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
