So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Randomize
