I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
