peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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