so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
