i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
