i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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