Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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