You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
