Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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