she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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