I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
