Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
