I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
