I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
