dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
