he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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