We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So many bounce houses so little time
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
