we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
