So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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