i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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