weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
