Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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