I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize