Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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