shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
