Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
