evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
