Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
