chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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