Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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