he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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