perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
