so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
