another moral hangover. fuck.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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