return my video game
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
