I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
