I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize