...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I feel great
I just peed on a car
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
