you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
