My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
