i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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