I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You're a waste of cheezeits
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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