his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
