I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
