The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
