How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
