Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
