I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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