I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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