Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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