Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
