hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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