So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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