Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
