We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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