I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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