it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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