just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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