do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
