At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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