he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
